Watch the following videos and reflect on how your ideas of relationships and marriage differ from those outlined. What do you see as being benefits and downfalls of each?

Nirel Marofsky, in her YouTube video titled Changing the Way We Think About Consensual
Non-monogamy, outlined ideas of relationships and marriage. One of the video’s ideas is consensual non-
monogamy as an alternative to the high rate of divorce. Nirel says that all the problems in marriages and
relationships are brought about by monogamy. She recommends a shift in the monogamy perspective to
consensual non-monogamy, a romantic relationship where all partners agree to engage in sexual or
romantic relationships with others. She tries to justify consensual non-monogamy by saying that about 4-
5 percent of Americans are doing it. Although consensual non-monogamy helps create large social
networks and provides sexual variety, I believe it is not the ideal solution for marriages and relationships.
This is because it may create conflict over the female-mating rate, it increases sexual dissatisfaction
among female partners, breeds jealousy, hatred, and quarrel.

Dr. Meg Barker, in her YouTube video, presents a talk on rewriting the rules of relationships. The
old rules of relationships are gender bias and state that a lady would get her ideal man if she let the man
take the first initiative, did not talk too much, never laughed too much, and did not demand too much. Dr.
Meg states that one of the problems facing relationships is that people tend to pass on old rules, which are
sometimes unhelpful and sometimes even damaging. This is why new rules become inflexible to
implement. She recommends that instead of holding on to one person tightly because they meet all of our
needs, we should hold all our relationships more gently and appreciate what we get from partners, friends,
family, and colleagues. Some of the old rules may indeed be damaging to relationships. However, not all
old rules are unhelpful in relationships, and not all new rules may cause relationships to thrive. Therefore,
it is no longer about old and new rules but what works out for each couple. This is because what works
out for one couple may not work for another because we are all different. APA